if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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