I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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