He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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