I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
