Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
