Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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