Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize