Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
