If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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