If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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