What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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