Got a toothbrush?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
