Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
