She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
