8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
