D3 body, D1 cock
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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