I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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