I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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