I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize