she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize