Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
