Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
