I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
