He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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