Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
