Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
