Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
