Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
