The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize