I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I supernannyed him into submission
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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