At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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