"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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