I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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