All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
