So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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