and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
