i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
