At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
