i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
