How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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