Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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