I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
