omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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