Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
