i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
