i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
