This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
