i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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