So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
this boner is exhausting
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
