also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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