i already hear my dad disowning me
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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