$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I need help removing her.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
