I didn't shave. On purpose
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
