...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
