I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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