you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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