at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
