I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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