I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
kristin has been a bad kristin
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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