May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
