I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
