We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
