Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
